Matthew 'Moleman'

""''Alpacallamarudioviolification". This is not a page that will come in much use." - Matthew 'Moleman', 2018''

Matthew, affectionately known as the "Moleman", was born in 1999, to a mole mother and a mole father, as many moles are. He spent his formative minutes in Moletopia, in the underground Mole Kingdom, alongside his mole brethren. Abandoned at birth and raised by a human family, Matthew is now a leading light in the endless search for the stupidest project, and is married and in a loving relationship with [REDACTED], although neither party knows it.

Matthew is unique among Nerdinators in being the only member never to adopt a universal screen name.

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Early Life
Despite being, genetically, a mole, Matthew lived alongside humans from his first days, and grew to mimic their appearance.

Teenagehood, Adulthood and Life in Da Hood
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Career
Since growing up at the accelerated rate that moles grow at, Matthew has achieved a lot of meaningless, unbelievable, and positively made-up shit during his time alive.

Publishing Enveavours and Autobiography
As well as being a full-time mole, Matthew is also an avid author. His autobiography documenting life as a Nerdinator, entitled "Salt and Jealousy" was published in 2016 after a long fight with publishing house Penguin Publishers. Despite not actually being finished, the book went on to become a national best-seller in Australia, and was banned in Finland.

Life in the Salt Mines
Matthew is the target of many "got 'eems" and "get rekts", which typically creates a lot of salt. This salt is sold on under his own brand of table salt, turning a tidy profit, which is then used to fight lawsuits from the under-represented individuals who mine the salt (and various counts of assault).

War with Finland
Since 2007, Matthew has legally been at war with the nation of Finland, over the legal rights to a still-unnamed rock opera. No fatalities have been recorded as of yet.

Search for Parents
In 2017, following a lengthy project to find his real parents, Matthew confronted Mr. and Mrs. Moleman - the moleist moles who ever molested - on the Jeremole Kyle Show. However, this show never made it to air due to its gruesome bloodshed and sexual nature.

"Projects"
In his limited time off from being a mole, Matthew spends his days thinking up ideas for things he could do and then not finishing th